Path of Love Global..

Rafia: Well I have a lot of theories about it and I am certainly happy about it but I guess the true answer is that the process just works. By that I mean that in a very simple way it brings people to a depth and recognition of themselves that is the fulfillment of a deep longing we all seem to have. It also clears out a lot of old emotional baggage and identifications that we unconsciously cling to. It opens us to our depths in a very particular way that is unlike any other therapeutic or spiritual work that I know of and it provides an on-going way to continue to look at yourself and life with.

Q: I know the actual process is a secret but can you say something about what happens in there?

Rafia: Yes of course, POL works directly with our longing to realize Truth, to be Free or in union with God, to realize ourselves as Divine, to know the Truth. It makes no difference which words we use; the spiritual longing, the urge to wake up, to be the Buddha we are, the yearning to realize our potential or recognize who we already are is there at the heart of every seeker. So in the process we activate and support that longing…we uncover it from resignation, unworthiness, our cynical minds, the feeling of disappointment etc and make it the most important thing, the most precious thing we have. When that longing is activated it is like a tuning fork for Truth and it leads us into direct confrontation with those places inside us that have closed off in mistrust towards Life. We then have the opportunity to bring those places out into the open and see through the illusion of the separation those places cause.

So there is the longing, active and honored…then we give people a few keys to apply to their work, I will tell you one that is important. We tell people to really look at their lives through the understanding that “all the barriers are on my side.”

What that means then is that in all the situations where I am feeling and experiencing separation the barriers to my freedom, to my love, to my peace of mind are mine…all of them. It leaves no place for being a victim and puts the full responsibility on the individual. Now this in itself is huge. Consider this: my spiritual longing which has as its very nature the impetus or function to guide me to freedom is of course then bringing me to where I have to confront and to look at all those places where I have erected monuments to my mistrust, those places from which I am identified and can gather information to support my view and position almost effortlessly. We all have those places that are based on real things that happened: its like a pair of glasses we can put on whenever we want that allow us to see the world in a particular way that supports our position. We don’t make people wrong for their view but we do support them to look a little deeper and see if this position is bringing them the happiness and love they are longing for or is it keeping them locked in the pain of separation.

Basically that process just keeps on going throughout the group in different ways until people are very open and in recognition of something inside that is much deeper than their usual personality. You could call it the Being I suppose. It is a kind of satori experience and often is a real breakthrough in how people live their lives.

Q: I have heard you have a large staff in the room…what’s their function?

Rafia: Yes we do often have a large staff. Usually it is around 35 but we have even had 90 once—which was quite a challenge to co-ordinate believe me!
The staff functions like one body in all the practical aspects of taking care and of holding a space to best of our ability of unconditional love. The staff is and provides the container and creates the atmosphere for lot of the magic that happens.
Sometimes, at the beginning of the process people are a bit daunted by all of these staff people in there but after a while they come to see that they are being loved in a way that most of us have never felt before.
And people love to staff as we go through a kind of parallel process with the participants as being in unconditional love is quite a strong meditation. So we do our work in their too. We have particular meditations we do, one of which is: all the barriers to unconditional love are on my side…so if I am in separation then what is it about me? We all love to be in that place of openness and non-separation and so there is a great longing in all of us on the staff.

Q: Is POL only for people who are in a life crisis or can you do the group anytime?

Rafia: Well you could say we are all in a life crisis in the sense of waking up — so we bring that urgency into the process from the first moment. I know what you mean though and the answer is no. You don't have to be starting with a big problem or be in a crisis... no, not at all.

The POL is really about looking at those places where repeatedly find ourselves in the pain of separation. The longing is to experience the state of Oneness, which is non-separation.
We all have our places where we long to expand more, to realize more of our potential so no matter how evolved you may be there always seems to be something important to look at

Q: How would I know if at this point in my life it's the right thing or not to do?

Rafia: Well, we help with that by giving an interview if its needed or asked for, and in that we try and see if it is the right time. Usually though, its just a feeling that comes in your heart or belly or a persistent thought in your mind that tells you it's one of those times in life to take a deep look inside. In my case, I had no intention to do it, and then one day I just knew it was time to clean up. I was in a deep spiritual resignation at the time. I had developed an identity inside the community that on one level was working fine but underneath I was very discontent and quite lost. I really didn’t want to do this process…I was really resistant. But then I saw, that if I was really honest, the only reason I wouldn't do it was because I was too afraid. So I took a big breath and jumped in and my life really has not been the same since!

Q: You make POL sound so ideal that I must say I am a little suspicious? Is it your experience that the POL is beneficial for everyone?

Rafia: Yes I understand it might sound a little too good to be true. I can’t say this work is for everyone. There are many ways for people to open up. This is just one way. We often have people that are basically oriented towards sitting meditation come and do the group. I believe they all feel they have benefited and take some enrichment and clarity back to their watching practice. I certainly hope they go back to it with renewed enthusiasm and inspiration. What people get from POL is very subjective of course. For some people it's just a big emotional clean out and is like deep therapy. For many it's a reawakening of a certain commitment to go all the way that we made when we took sannyas or started a spiritual journey — you could call it a remembrance. For some its really a spiritual breakthrough and provides a way of meditating that works for them in an on-going way. I don't want to create any illusions though that might come from this name Path Of Love which sounds kind of flowery. People come through into beautiful inner spaces but they really face themselves along the way, their ego structures and illusions, in a very direct way. Have no doubt about it, it is a very intense process.

Q: Do I have to have any prerequisites or is it for anyone?

Rafia: There are no specific prerequisites and we do occasionally take people who have no previous spiritual or therapeutic work, however it is helpful to have some group or meditation experience. I always feel those people who have done some work have a much better chance to integrate, contain and understand the opening they have in the group.

Q: How is it in your life to be so involved in this intense
process?

Rafia: Intense is the right word! I experience it like a blessing though as I get to come together with people in all aspects of this work where they are at their very most sincere and open. Along the way though, wow! I often feel I am often in the frying pan. I feel that just by leading this process and using a lot of big words like "Unconditional Love" for example, Existence quite rightly puts me into positions where I really have to look at all of my conditions to love. Its kind a like "OK, you talk the talk, now walk the walk". The perspective, understanding and method of this work are very core, at this point, to how I try to live my life.

Q: You have been leading the POL for almost 9 years now, how do you feel it changing and evolving?

Rafia: Well it does evolve and change as a reflection of our own evolution and changes but the basic structure of the process will most likely remain the same as it is frankly just too brilliant to change much. The sequence of events that happen in there are all so intelligently arranged and compliment each other so well that though we will always be able to refine it this way and polish it in that way, the essence of it will remain the same.

Q: Where do you see the future of POL going?

Rafia: That’s a big question that I am asking myself all the time.
Turiya and I are looking at ways to train other people to lead it so that it can happen more frequently and in many new places.
It takes a lot of preparation to get a POL to happen as well as having enough people to staff it that are available and ready to give so generously of their time. Its not the easiest process to set up and get going on the standard we want it to always happen on and yet the longing to expand is there. I would love it though if we could have some more facilitators trained so that more people can have the opportunity to go through the process. We recently had an invitation where we were considering to do one in Israel with half Palestinians and half Israelis…the proposal didn’t work out but it was intriguing….
Imagine: “All the barriers to are on your side” applied to a situation where there is so much hate and violence happening.

Q: What is the foundation and the ultimate aim of the path of love

Turiya: To bring people more to connection with themselves, and bring unconditional love into their lives. Also to let them see and experience what you really want in this life? What are we here for? What is it that you are longing for? What is it that you want besides children, wealth, money and a credit card (nothing wrong about all that) but is that what you are   really here for.?

It brings out the longing for our true potential, to reconnect with our true nature, to connect with the godliness that we all have inside, yet often forget about. It is in way existential therapy, if you want to call it that way.

Q: Who or what was the inspiration behind the program and how did it evolve

Turiya: The program comes from America, and it used to be called "Miracle of love", and a group of people still run it there. The structure is taken from a guy called   Lu Stoll, who uses it in Hawai, but we have changed and refined it, so anyone is capable of jumping in.

Q: Did a particular event occur in your life as a catalyst for you to pursue this particular direction

Turiya: The death of a very close friend of mine. He died very sudden and very unexpected, and it brought death into my life in a very shocking way. He was a meditator and still young, and when he suddenly got sick, I lost trust in life and trust in Meditation, and in myself. I touched a deep layer of helplessness, that freaked me out, and brought up a lot of fear, and pain. I felt that I needed to face both in a very deep and existential way, because death will happen eventually to all us. And how to deal with that? How to live my life in a beautiful and worthwhile way, so that when I die, I can die with open arms and peace in my heart.

Q: From a personal perspective how has it changed you personally and how different is your life now.

Turiya: It has brought more honesty into my life, emotional honesty and a feeling of a deep trust in myself, that I am worthy and that my life is a process of awakening to truth . It really made me feel my deepest pain, tears and sorrow that I have inside. It still makes me aware every day not to separate myself from life from love and from the world, and to always look and be aware if it does happen.   I always ask myself:" What are the barriers that I am putting up?....One of the keys we use for that process is, "All the barriers are on my side", if you really take that to heart, it is a very strong attitude towards life and love.

Q: What do you feel are your particular strengths and gifts that you can share and thereby help the transformation process for others

Turiya: I feel I have experienced a lot in this lifetime, from death to separation, to bringing up a daughter, and being separated from her, I feel I have a lot of life experience, and that at times has given me a lot of wisdom. I also have many therapeutic skills, I work with trauma with opening up the emotional body, family constellation, essence work, ego psychology and many other techniques, and in it all I find my way of working with people, a well rounded eclectic approach. I love the work, I love being a facilitator in peoples journey of discovery the beauty that they all have inside themselves. I also have over 20 years of meditation practice , and being with a master, and the path of finding my feminine strength and self - worth.   And I am really discovering more and more that women today can be also strong and be out there, and have a lot to say and to contribute to this life, besides having children, and taking care of husbands etc.

Q: What can people expect when they embark on the path of love

Turiya: It is an intense process, with   strong emotional opening work, held in a very loving and supporting environment. We have between 30   and 45participants and will have a staff of   around 48 people, who all have done the process, and just want to be there to help and support the birth of so many beautiful beings. It's a process, where you are really confronted with all the concepts and ideas, that keep you separate from yourself. It's a very passionate process.

Q: How challenging and confronting is the journey for people?

Turiya: It is very challenging and you have to want to be in it with your passion and totality, and a strong longing or call it a strong desire for truth. It is very structured, you are with people all the time, yet in silence .No contact to people outside the process. It is a very safe loving and secure container to explore the unlimited depth of yourself.

Q: Is the Path of Love a liberating experience?

Turiya: It can be very liberating, if you really allow it to take you, and to let your torch burn from both ends. We have a very tight and very loving container, and we always say, that where the person needs to go, is up to them.   But there is plenty of opportunity to be liberated from old concepts and ideas that keep you away from life and from love and above all from yourself. For almost anybody it is painful to be separated from your own beauty, unconditional love and acceptance, and here you have an opportunity to face it, feel it, and transform that pain into love.

Q: What is the step by step process of the program?

Turiya: The process itself is strictly confidential, so I cannot say what are the step by step, all I can say it is worked out very thoughtful and careful, and it is a structure that will help you to go in and find a deeper place inside yourself, that feels usually more true, then what we normally live. To find a place of deep trust and unconditional love and acceptance for yourself and others.

Q: What experience and skills do the facilitators bring to the program?

Turiya: The facilitators are all very therapeutically skilled people, who we have been trained in this program for many years, and some   of them   are working with people in their own psychological practice and leading their own groups.

Q: What have you found to be some of the most common fears that hinder or repress people?

Turiya: The biggest one is often, that people have a lack of self love and self acceptance, don't trust themselves, have a low self- worth, or/and have a strong layer of resignation inside themselves. Or feel that they need to change something in their lives and yet don't know how to do that.

Q: Because the path of love is a connection between mind, body, emotion and spirit how effective can it be for people who have a health condition or addiction.?

Turiya: It is a physical strenuous process, so people need to be healthy, and being able to take care of their bodies. For people with addiction it is actually a great process and really helps especially if you want to stop smoking, or we also had people in their after they had done the AA 12 step program, and then they did POL, and it was very

Helpful to them

Q: Do many couples undergo the path of love transformation together or should it be a personal journey?

Turiya: We always have couples in there, they are separate from each other yet in the same process, and that can really help the relationship a lot. It often lets them both develop and experience and be with themselves, and then after the process is over they have a totally new way of meeting again.

Q: Do people who undergo the path of love notice a deepening in their relationships with others?

Turiya: Yes definitely, because you look at how you separate yourself from others, and if you can stay open, that immediately makes all the difference to communication, and experiencing life. It gives people the courage to open up, and not to defend their hearts. And in that a much deeper meeting is possible.

Q: Once people have completed the Path of Love how do they embrace the principles in their life and continue to grow

Turiya: There are regular meditations and support group   that we offer here, and around the world. A lot they can   also do at home by themselves. They get a support system and help from us how to continue at the end of the process. People also get clear tools for the inner work, that they can apply in their daily life's. These tools are helpful and powerful.